I Totalled My Volvo and My Heart is Broken

"Jack Does Cars" (jackdoescars) 08/27/2017 at 20:56 • Filed to: Volvo

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On Wednesday morning, I rear ended a Ford Escape in stop-and-go traffic at rough 10 miles per hour. I wasn’t even using my phone, rather I was gazing out of the windshield and not fully paying attention to the crossover that had suddenly come to a halt just mere feet in front of the nose of my wagon. Embarrassingly, I didn’t even apply the brakes, instead I just rolled into the rear of the young lady’s Escape. I am truly ashamed.

Thankfully, all parties involved in the collision made it out safe and damage free, but my Volvo did not fare so well. Both front airbags deployed and my car was immediately rendered immobile. Upon closer inspection, my radiator had completely caved in and the engine was pushed back a few inches. It is not easy to describe that intensity of the airbags. Imagine someone shooting a handgun six inches from the side of your head while being kicked onto the ground simultaneously. Soon after the airbags exploded in my face, the cabin of the V70 started filling up with smoke which caused me to believe that my car had somehow caught fire. Thankfully, there were no fires to speak of, but my bearings were way off. To my delight, and that of our insurance company, the other driver’s Escape only faced minimal damage to the tailgate and rear bumper.

At the end of the day, nobody was mad at each other, and all parties were understanding. I apologized, said we would be in touch, and I was ultimately cited with, “failure to reduce speed,” charge worth a whopping $238. I am grateful that the ticket is the worst thing to come from this little accident, aside from the death of my absolutely wonderful Volvo, because I know it could have been a lot worse.

When I first saw what would become by beloved 2001 Volvo V70 T5 on the dealership lot in Greensboro, NC back in November, I was less than impressed. The driver’s seat was in poor condition, something that affects a majority of Volvo’s from this vintage, and the exterior was covered with scratches and small dents. It was surely a solid, “10-footer,” but nowhere close to perfect. Mechanically, my V70 was very sound. I bought it with over six pages of service records, and many newly replaced parts under the hood. I got over my initial dislike of the wagon on my first drive. The turbo spooled up, making a most beautiful noise and just launching the grocery getter down the busy Greensboro, NC street. I instantly backed off the accelerator, knowing I was going to be very happy with my purchase.

I’m glad to say I was, too. My Volvo and I spent 13,000 miles together, and we had a great time. Whether it be sitting in traffic on my way to school, or two quite adventurous beach trips with some friends, the Volvo never let me down. Sure, it had some problems, but all PAG-era Volvo’s have some problems. I know that I will surely miss this car and I deeply regret killing it in the grotesque and offensive way that I somehow managed.

Goodbye, Volvo. I’ll see you on the other side, brother.

dogisbadob > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:01

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I guess you forgot the self-braking didn’t quite work as advertised :p

(sorry, I had to!)

No really though, glad nobody was hurt.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:04

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RIP ‘Vo. Did it’s job exactly like a Volvo should, even if it was only 10mph.

I know how it feels to have your perfect car hauled off to the junkyard. It fucking sucks.

wkiernan > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:06

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You know what I like about your story, when I’ve talked to most of my buddies about the car wreck they were in where the cops gave them the ticket, they usually say, “The other guy did this ‘n’ that, it’s not my fault!” and what that means is, they’re for fuckin’ sure gonna do it again. And that, I hate to admit, has included me talking to myself.

But you won’t!

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:09

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On the positive side...it died with your admiration. If it had died a natural death then you’d have probably spent the last years of its life loathing its asthmatic performance and broken down appearance...no beloved vehicle deserves that.

Jack Does Cars > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 08/27/2017 at 21:12

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I’m going to probably cry when it’s hauled away, and that’s fine. Friends and I have joked about holding a care funeral before it’s taken away, and I think it’s just gotta happen.

Jack Does Cars > dogisbadob 08/27/2017 at 21:12

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Haha, that’s good. Thanks.

Jack Does Cars > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 08/27/2017 at 21:12

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Exactly, I’m glad I got to drive it before Everything went wrong.

LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:13

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I’m sorry to say it, but I’m starting to see a pattern of you rear-ending other cars . I hope that this pattern will be broken with more caution, since there is a non-zero chance that you will be driving behind me some day in our fair Old North State.

Good luck with the search for the next vehicle. Tell us all about it.

m-b-w loves his SUBAROO > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:15

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Sorry about the car dude! She was a pretty wagon! Any plans as to what’s next?

Jack Does Cars > m-b-w loves his SUBAROO 08/27/2017 at 21:16

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Thanks, but right now I am looking closely at an Audi A4 1.8T Avant and a Toyota T100 truck. We will have to wait for the insurance payout before any decisions are made.

dogisbadob > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:19

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A TSX wagon would also be a good choice, if you can afford it

Clutch > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:22

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Sorry for your loss. Inattention can have consequences as many of us have learned... you’ll find another great car and love it, too.

TomServo (Resides on the Satellite of Love) > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:24

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Buy the newest rabbit or golf you can afford, or the a4. T100 doesn’t have airbags. I wanted an avant, but ended up with a 2017 golf 5 speed.

m-b-w loves his SUBAROO > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:24

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Have you considered going back to Autofocus? They have a nice little Impreza. http://www.myautofocus.com/mobile/mdetails.aspx?VID=269444881

2Fast2Furious: Rotary Powered > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:31

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BahamaTodd > LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com 08/27/2017 at 21:32

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Uhh, yeah.... sounds like the next car needs to have forward collision braking, or at least warning.

wafflesnfalafel > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:33

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sh!t happens... I backed my wife’s old Nissan into a pole, happens to everybody. But I sure as h@ll double check my mirrors now. :) Recovery mode! Sorry about the Volvo...

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > Jack Does Cars 08/27/2017 at 21:41

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LS400 is calling

Jack Does Cars > TomServo (Resides on the Satellite of Love) 08/27/2017 at 21:41

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This Audi is very cheap, but I could find a 2.5 MK5 for similar money.

Jack Does Cars > 2Fast2Furious: Rotary Powered 08/27/2017 at 21:42

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Thank you this is really good.

Jack Does Cars > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches 08/27/2017 at 21:42

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It’s on The List.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TomServo (Resides on the Satellite of Love) 08/28/2017 at 00:50

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T100 most certainly does have airbags...

Amoore100 > Jack Does Cars 08/28/2017 at 01:18

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Nooooo! Sad to see it go, especially knowing how far they run like my dad’s at 218K. Still, you’ll move on to bigger and better things for sure. Not to be snarky or anything, but maybe CitySafety on your next car? It’s saved my butt at least once in stop in go traffic, though I probably wouldn’t have used it had I been in the V50 anyways given that it’s a lot more nimble.

In that vein, just my 2 cents, but try to go for something even smaller; the Trailblazer to V70 was already a downsize but the P2 cars are still barges, try a compact to get your head around managing all aspects of your car’s performance before going big again. That’s what I’ve learned from my little V50 and I think it honestly has made me a better driver as I’m always so keenly aware of that car’s dimensions that its’s almost as if I can maneuver it along like a Matchbox car on the carpet. Unfortunately winter and snow may make your choice undoubtedly something rather much bigger, but good luck and I’m glad you’re ok! My condolences and best wishes go to you.

Jack Does Cars > Amoore100 08/28/2017 at 06:21

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Thank you, I’m currently looking at an Audi A4 1.8T Avant, a Toyota T100, and an NB Miata. Two of those are small...one isn’t.